My Best Friend

Exactly one month ago I had to do one of the hardest things I have ever done. I still cry thinking about it. I've never been so heartbroken. I had watched my five year old schnauzer get sicker and sicker for over a year. Tyler and I had spent nearly $1000 trying to find out what was wrong with her but, every test, every vet said the same thing. I don't know.
When I got married two years ago I moved to Colville, Washington and had to leave Dustie (my schnauzer) in Utah with my parents. About 3 months after I left she got really sick, she couldn't walk, and wouldn't eat. She started breathing really heavy and it sounded like she was a smoker. That's when we spent all the money to see what was wrong. We never found out. Well, last year my parents moved up to Washington... Davenport to be exact. And we happened to move to Davenport as well. I finally got my dog back. She still breathed funny but, she seemed to be okay. Now thinking back, I think that she was sick for the last year but was too sweet to show it. A couple months ago she stopped eating. I had to hand feed her, and then watch a couple hours later as she would throw up everything she ate. She started to sleep all day long. And her breath got REALLY bad. All the while she remained a sweetheart. She would love on you all day long if you would let her. Finally, she lost half her body weight, wouldn't drink, and wouldn't even react to me calling her name. That's when I made the decision to take her in and put her down. I still struggle with it. I can't help but wonder if the wasn't something else I could have done, to help her heal. I wonder if she would've gotten better, if she could still be here. Tyler buried her in our back yard, I still cant go back there. I'm too heartbroken. I know that there are people out there who think, 'She was just a dog. You can go get another one.' But, Dustie was my best friend. I've always struggled with people, talking to them, continuing a conversation, feeling like I had a kindred spirit best friend. But, when I got Dustie, she was the truest friend I've ever had. She had a way of knowing when I was upset, and that she needed to come and lay on my lap and lick my hand. She was the best listener I ever met. I would talk to her endlessly and she would just sit there with her ears perked up and look at me like, 'Tell me more, I promise I understand.' She knew my deepest secrets, my darkest fears, my biggest dreams, and my heart. I slept with her every night, she would lay against my stomach and rest her head on my shoulder, all night long. Dustie truly would have been perfect if she wouldn't have been sick, I had the privilege of owning the best dog in the world. I miss her more than anything! I love you Dustie. Thank you for all the good memories.

Life, Easy as ABC

Last month when my visiting teacher came over she asked me several times if I was alright. After her asking me two or three times and me responding I was fine- I asked her why she kept asking me, she said; 'Lately you have seemed SOOO sad!'
Then it hit me- I have been sad, after over a year of trying for a baby, Tyler and I still haven't received that blessing. I have been struggling lately with watching friends, acquaintances, and random ladies at the grocery store be pregnant and have small children.
Although I am sad and disappointed, I don't want to be and don't have to be. So, I started looking into how to be happy.
In the January ensign President Monson gave the First Presidency message called, Living the Abundant Life. In this article he 'challenges Latter-day Saints everywhere to undertake a personal, diligent, significant quest for the abundant life-a life filled with an abundance of success, goodness and blessings.'
President Monson gives us some ABC's to help us gain an abundant life:
A-is for having a positive attitude. We can CHOOSE to have a positive attitude.
B- is believing in yourself. We can achieve what we believe we can. Trust, believe, and have faith.
C- is facing challenges with courage. Courage is a determination to live decently.
I cant help but feel as though President Monson was talking to me, it never ceases to amaze me of how our Heavenly Father put that article into my home at the time that I needed it.
President Monson's address inspired me to look more into how to be happy and feel fulfilled. Weeks ago my Mom gave me an article called 'Faith-An Intelligent Force' by Larry Barkdull. I refused to read it, not wanting to admit that I was struggling. After reading 'The Abundant Life', I finally sat down and read it. All I can say is that my Mom had felt some inspiration from the spirit, and had tried to touch my heart but, I was not willing to be touched. President J. Rueben Clark Jr. says that' faith is more that a belief, its a living and intelligent, force, by which God himself preforms his work.'
There are certain descriptive phrases of two prophets that Brother Barkdull highlights:

• A living...intelligent force by which God himself performs His work

• "superior to and over rules all other forces of which we know"
• "causes things to happen"
• "calls forth things that otherwise would not be"
• "moves people"
• "moves things"
• "a marvelous, even a transcendent, power, a power as real and as invisible as electricity"

Faith is so much more that "the power of positive thinking or a great exertion of emotion" Its tapping into our divine power from God.

These two articles really touched my heart, and made me think about my testimony. I know that I am a daughter of God, and that He loves me. I know that having faith in Him, includes having faith in His timing. And that all things work for our good. So, to finally get to the point, I have started to work on my faith; I have started a gratitude journal, which I write in everyday. I have also made a vision board. I have begun a quest for an abundant life, in which I will strive to have a positive attitude, believe in myself and my Heavenly Father, face all of the challenges in Tyler and my life with courage, and have unwavering Faith.

Catching Up

A lot has happened in the last year and a half. After we got married Tyler and I moved to Colville Washington, a tiny logging town. It turned my world upside down. Everything was different there. The people, the landscape, and my relationship with my family. Moving 800 miles away from my family was one of the best things that Tyler and I could of done for our relationship. I learned to rely on him, and he the same with me. We truly did become best friends. I found that I couldn’t have been blessed with a better eternal companion. He really is my helpmate.

Up in Colville, I worked for an in-home care giving company and got a client with Alzheimer’s. She has to be one of the most amazing ladies I have ever met. I gained a love for her that I have never felt before. When you take care of some one who cant care for themselves, a bond forms. Working with her was one of the most spiritually uplifting experiences I have ever had. She helped me grow and gain confidence in myself.

Tyler worked for a Lumber Mill. He still talks about it as being the most draining job he has ever had. He worked from 5am to 4pm every day. He would come home, eat, shower, go to bed and wake up and do it all over again. Tyler had a struggle with his job that I never had.

In the winter of 2010 my dad finally found a job in Reardan, an even smaller town than Colville, as a bus driver. He moved into my Aunts house in Davenport. (About and hour and a half from Colville) Tyler and I started to drive down almost every weekend to be with him. I gained an even deeper relationship with my Dad. We all had some really fun times.

In February of 2011 Tyler and I decided that we wanted to buy a house. So we started looking into home loans. We found a rural loan that seemed perfect for us, but there was a qualification that we didn’t have, a credit score (we didn’t have one) so we went and got our first credit card and started building our score. In March the rest of my family moved to Davenport and we continued to visit frequently. Tyler and I grew to love Davenport. It has a population of about 1,500. And most of that population is farmers. We fasted and prayed and felt like we were needed there. (Davenport doesn’t have a ward. It’s a branch with about 70 active members coming from a 30mi radius.)

Tyler started to apply for jobs in the surrounding area. For a couple of months he would have an interview every week and not get the job. We were beginning to feel as though maybe we were wrong; maybe we just wanted to be there so bad that we had misread our answer. Well in the middle of May, the second counselor in the Branch presidency told Tyler to apply for a job at AgLink; a fertilizer company that has about 7 branches in Eastern Washington. Finally Tyler got a job! In two weeks we moved in with my parents. We lived there for three months. Those had to have been the longest three months for all of us. There were 6 people crammed in my parents tiny little home. It was a struggle, but a good one. Once again, Tyler and I began to doubt our decision. We could not find a place to live. We would look at two and three apartments a week and they would always fall through. In August a house went up for sale a block away from my parents and I just happened to see the sign on my walk. I grabbed the paper and called the real estate agent. Well, in a less than a month we were the owners of a beautiful home!

Our Home! It’s so amazing! We are on a third of and acre, have three bedrooms, two bathrooms and its ours!

We also have started our family! (No, I’m not pregnant.)

We have two dogs, and two cats. Yes, were crazy, I don’t know what we were thinking!

This is Annie Oakley. She is 4 months old and adorable. She is our bird dog. Were hoping to take her out next season. :D

Here is Butch, Butch Cassidy to be exact. He is my lover boy. He is all cuddles and loves.

This is Calamity Jane. And she lives up to her name. All she is ever in is TROUBLE!

This is our baby! Dustie Britches! She was my birthday present when I was 15. She has both Tyler and I wrapped around her paw.

Tyler and I also celebrated our 1^st anniversary this year! Time flies when you are having fun! I really am married to my best friend! We went into Spokane and did some shopping and went on a little hike!

Looking back, I can’t believe all of the blessings that My Father in Heaven has bestowed upon our little family. I have gained a testimony of His divine plan for me, and that everything happens for a reason. Everything we go through is for our betterment. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and I can see it in my daily life! We really are simply blessed!